As I go though this transition in my life, I have been expecting my self to begin organizing how to do it "effectively" … to come up with a plan that will insure that it "goes well."  But as I sit with some of you and think about how much life we have shared, and how that is going to change, I find this assumption that I can do it "effectively" is dissolving.  I don't know how to do this.  I don't know how to set aside personal time with 300 people to thoroughly recount and reflect on what we've experienced together, how manymoments of grace we've shared.  At first it feels like not being able to grasp it all means it is all slipping away, that it' s being lost like a rope tethering a boat to a dock that is disappearing between my fingers.  But somewhere hidden in this is a small thought that this it's OK not to do it "effectively," that this can't be helped, that this is in the nature of things.  So, if in these last days of August at GPC, you are talking with me and I look like I'm "not normal," know that I'm experiencing an overload of awareness and an unfamiliar sense of not knowing what to do.  And if we don't have a chance to speak to each other before I leave, know that none of the moments of shared grace are lost in God's memory, and that I feel overwhelmed with gratitude.